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Mother and Baby

How To Be You – With A Baby

Your identity may change when you become a parent, but that doesn’t mean it’s lost. Tap into ‘you’ with these fresh ideas

Yes, you’re in a completely different headspace when you have a baby – but that doesn’t mean the old you is gone.
It’s just about making time and little tweaks to still enjoy the things you love.

Schedule spontaneity

You used to love a last-minute film, but having a baby can mean everything needs more planning. So, do just that – plan spontaneous time.

‘Ask if your partner or a relative can babysit for a few hours so you’re not worrying about your child, then do whatever you want,’ says Claire Brummell, relationship coach for Feminine 1st.

‘It’s about giving yourself the headspace to relax and indulge that side of you.’ 

Show your relationship some love

Your couple priorities change with this little person you’ve both made, but still create time for each other.

Your couple priorities change with this little person you’ve both made

‘It’s being a couple that got you here, so eat together or have a night on the sofa where you can chat once a week,’ says Claire. ‘And embrace the little, easy things that make you both feel loved – compliments go a long way.’

As does finding your favourite chocolate in the fridge… just in case he’s reading this.

Pick your battles

Having everything tidy and in order is your thing – then baby world has turned your house upside down. And breathe.

Now, pick three easy wins to prioritise, so you can feel more chilled about the ones that are harder to control.

‘It could be always having the TV remote in the same place or making sure your own bedroom’s straight, even though the lounge is toy central,’ says Claire.

Boost your confidence

If you’re missing your usual interests, whether that's fashion, music, or dancing, don't cut them out of your new life.

‘Yes, you have new priorities but it’s important to indulge the parts of yourself that aren’t about motherhood, too,’ says Claire.

It could be adding a statement necklace to your outfit or blasting that album while you get ready for your baby class. Bring what you love into your new routine.

Adapt your friendships

When you’re the first of your friends to have a baby, it’s natural to worry about your dynamic changing. But that doesn’t mean things ending.

‘Be open to a new social circle at mum and baby classes or in the park, so you have people who ‘get’ this new stage, too,’ says Claire. ‘Then also make time for your other friends and the connections you have that make you feel like ‘you’.’

Ask them to come round to yours at first if it’s easier – chances are they’ll love a cuddle with your baby. 

How do you make time for yourself as a parent? Let us know on the comments board below.

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