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The 24 Phrases You Only Start To Say Once You’re A Parent

Yes, you promised yourself you’d never say certain things before children arrived, but now you’re a mum these phrases just seem to form part of the everyday life of being a parent.


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‘Why don’t you ask Daddy?’

If you don't know the answer, just send her to your other half. (Image: Corbis)
The 24 Phrases You Only Start To Say Once You’re A Parent Expand Image The 24 Phrases You Only Start To Say Once You’re A Parent

‘Sorry, I’m going to be late, I was just heading out the door when I discovered Ben had done an enormous poo.’

Yes, toddler nappy habits can derail the best-laid plans (Image: Getty)
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‘No, it’s your turn to get up.’

And you're keeping count... (Image: Corbis)
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‘Yes, make it a large glass, please…in fact, leave the bottle.’

That post-bath and bedtime glass of wine is the ultimate treat (Image: Corbis)
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‘If I’d been 10 seconds quicker I could have caught the sick in my hands.’

Such a futile (and icky) action, but one most of us have attempted to do at some point. (Image: Corbis)
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‘Last night was amazing – I got four hours sleep in a row.’

Talk about an achievement - this means you'll only need three coffees to keep you going today. (Image: Corbis)
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‘She’s refusing to wear any other clothes except her Frozen dress and a plastic tiara.’

This would be fine if she hadn't decided to go 'muddy puddle jumping' yesterday. (Image: Corbis)
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‘Sorry, I can’t go out, I’m watching this Bugaboo Donkey on eBay.’

Don't get in the way of a mum with a bargain in her sights. (Image: Corbis)
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‘Let’s just say, we’ll never be invited to that branch of Giraffe again…’

There are tantrums, and then there are 'we'll never be able to go back there' tantrums... (Image: Corbis)
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‘I’ve tried everything to get this pureed spinach and carrot stain out of my Reiss top.’

You're considering getting a bib for yourself as well as your baby. (Image: Corbis)
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‘I actually found a 20p piece in Ella’s poo the other day.’

And they say raising a child drains your wallet... (Image: Corbis)
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‘Fine, you can play on the iPad, but only for another half an hour.’

Sometimes you just need something to keep your toddler occupied. (Image: Corbis)
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‘It’s weird how my nine week old stops crying when I play the ‘Selfie’ song.’

Whatever works... (Image: Corbis)
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‘If you don’t stop crying we won't go to Peppa Pig World’

There are times when only a plain old bit of bribery will work.
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‘Can I have a skinny decaf venti caramel macchiato with an extra shot, please…and a babyccino.’

Coffee shops have suddenly become your new favourite place. (Image: Corbis)
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‘Do you really need a wee-wee? Are you sure?’

Cue frantic search for toilets in town centre/department store/motorway. (Image: Corbis)
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‘Why? Because I say so.’

Officially the ONLY way to get your pre-schooler to stop asking questions. (Image: Corbis)
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‘No Molly! The little boy doesn't want to go down the slide….no….stooopppp!’

It's quite possible you've never run so quickly across the playground in your life. (Image: Corbis)
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‘John is in A&E having a piece of LEGO removed from his foot.’

How many times have you told your partner to wear shoes? (Image: Corbis)
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‘We all squished into our bed – it was the only way we’d get any sleep.’

Your toddler is the original space stealer in your bed. (Image: Getty)
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‘Wiiind the bobbin up…’

Your knowledge of kids nursery rhymes is pretty impressive these days. (Image: Corbis)
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‘Well, Jamie has already started bottom shuffling, I mean he’s very advanced for his age.’

Every little baby milestone is a chance to feel proud. (Image: Corbis)
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‘Oh God, sorry, he doesn’t like that brand of hummus.’

You're not quite sure how it happened, but your toddler has developed very particular tastes about certain foods. (Image: Getty)
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‘Of course we’ll read Room On The Broom… again.’

It's only the sixteenth day in a row that your little one has picked this book. Nearly beats the 19-day run for We're Going On A Bear Hunt. (Image: Corbis)

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