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Mother and Baby

Make Time For A Sex Life As New Parents (Yes, Really!)

Having a baby doesn’t have to spell the end of your sex life. There are easy ways to find that spark again

Remember your sex life before you had a baby? Lazy Sunday mid-afternoon sessions, a quickie before work (ok, that was probably his wishful thinking – the snooze button is much more appealing, right?) and perhaps even a spoon on the sofa during The X Factor.
Sure, you can still have sex when you have a child, but chances are you need a different approach now you’ve got a new, very little (did we mention tiring?) person in the family.

‘A quickie during naptime is often recommended and if that works for you, then great,’ says sex and relationship author Dr. Yvonne Fulbright, founder of website Sexuality Source. ‘But, it’s sometimes not realistic, because it gives you no time to move your focus away from your baby and the fact that he’s nearby.’

So, when you’re ready to start being intimate again, how do you update your approach to your sex life?

Plan your perfect time for sex

There’s nothing wrong with making time together for sex, even if it’s just while you settle into life as parents and having a different relationship routine.

‘Book a babysitter or ask someone to look after your child for a few hours or an evening while you have the house to yourself,’ says Yvonne.

‘The sooner something gets on the calendar, the sooner you can start getting excited and in the mood for some time together.’

Redefine your sex-pectations

Stay flexible and don’t set any strict goals.

‘Reconsider intimacy – you don’t have to have full intercourse,’ says Yvonne. ‘There’s no need to give yourself targets such as getting through foreplay or having an orgasm either.

Having no expectations makes things more relaxed

In fact, having no expectations makes things more relaxed, which leaves you more sexually responsive.’

Try to steal little moments and simpler pleasures, such as showering together, cuddling on the sofa or having a lunch date.

Go easy on yourself

Realise that, as with any phase in your life, this is temporary.

‘If you’re having less sex, it’s a trade off for everything else amazing that’s happening right now,’ says Yvonne.

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