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20 White Lies You Tell Now That You're A Parent…

We teach our children that lying is wrong, but how often do you find yourself telling your little ones a few fibs to smooth over a sticky situation? So sometimes it’s OK to tell a white lie…
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“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you won’t grow.”

We all know that genetics are 95% responsible for how tall we end up being, but greens are good for kids so we shouldn’t feel bad.
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“If you’re not good, Santa won’t come.”

Well that’s one way of stopping a toddler tantrum.
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“The ball pit isn’t open today.”

Despite the several children playing inside!
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“We’re almost there.”

Whereas, we’re nowhere near there.
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“There’s no more chocolate.”

Erm there’s always more chocolate.
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“If you keep pulling that face, it’ll get stuck like that.”

After all, Granny used to say it when mummy was little– traditional parenting and all that.
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“Your drawing is beautiful”

Actually your crayon skills on the living room wall just depreciated our property value by 17 percent.
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“Eating carrots gives you night vision.”

Protecting them from the most painful thing ever – standing on a single Lego brick in the dark.
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“If you don’t behave (points to shop assistant) he will get really mad”

Let’s face it – the shop assistant doesn’t really care. But your toddler will –strangers are scary.
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“You can’t watch TV right now – the characters are all asleep.”

Because Peppa Pig needs an afternoon nap too…
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“The ice cream man only plays that song when they’re out of ice cream.”

Protecting them from brain freeze.
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“If you go out with wet hair you’ll catch a cold”

Mum says as she runs off to work with a damp towel still wrapped around her hair…
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“We have to leave the shop because it’s closing!”

Translation: We have to leave because you’ve requested £400 worth of toys in the last 15 minutes and almost destroyed a display of TVs with the shopping trolley.
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“If you watch too much TV, your brain will explode!”

Back-to-back episodes of Geordie Shore while the toddlers are tucked up might lend this theory some credibility.
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“You can't wear your favourite Sponge Bob shirt to nursery today, the other kids will get jealous.”

It’s in the wash just doesn’t quite cut it with a three-year-old.
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“It won’t hurt.”

We can’t exactly say in two minutes the doctor is going to jab you in the arm with a needle and it’s going to hurt a lot.
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“Your teddy/ comforter has gone on holiday.”

Translates to we have NO idea where it is and are trying to find a replica replacement!
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“If you keep picking your nose, it's going to fall off.”

OK, it won't fall off, but it's disgusting and will land you at the Weird Kid table at nursery and we don't want that.
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“I’m leaving without you!”

The awkward moment when they sit on the floor and genuinely do not care.
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“I’m your mother, I would never lie to you!”

Refer to previous points and enough said.
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