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7 Things Guaranteed To Happen At A Kid's Birthday Party

Whether you’re holding your baby’s first birthday bash or are mentally preparing yourself for your toddler's fourth party in two weeks (and breathe), there are some things that you just know are going to happen

1. The unexpected guest

You spent hours pouring over the list of your toddler’s friends at nursery and sending out Peppa Pig invites. But on the day, you open the door to someone who is not on the list, and instead of pointing out their name’s not down, and they are not coming in, you must welcome them in with open arms and scramble around to make sure there are enough goody bags.

2. The cost

As you’re whipping out the upteenth tray of mini chicken dippers and scrabbling around for another box of wine for the adults, it suddenly dawns on you that you’ve spent more money organising a party for your two-year-old than you did on your own 30th birthday.

You open the door to someone who is not on the guest list, and welcome them in

3. The food allergy

Despite requesting that mums let you know about any food requirements on your invite, there’s always one mother who suddenly announces her child can’t eat any of the party food because he’s dairy, peanut, gluten and egg intolerant. Cue mad dash to Tesco for some rice-cakes and almond butter.

4. The musical chairs meltdown

However hard you try, and however many trophies you buy so that everybody is a winner, there will always be a meltdown during the standoff in musical chairs. The solution? Hand out sweets to everyone and move swiftly onto the next game.

There’s always one mother who announces her child can’t eat any of the party food

5. The tipsy mother

Yes, we know that offering a ‘glass of’ makes for happy mummies (and a room full of three-year-olds is reason enough to crack onto the booze as early as possible). But it’s not ideal when little Johnny pipes up that his Mummy is ‘having a nap on the stairs’ and you have to discreetly “walk” her into the guest bedroom to sleep it off. If you’re worried, start with wine but swiftly move on to offering cups of tea.

6. The bodily fluid eruption

It’s impossible to guess which “end” it will come from, but it’s inevitable that one of the children will have an accident. Fruit squash + birthday cake + overexcited toddler = trouble. You can take heart from the fact that while it may well ruin both your daughter’s pink party dress and your cream carpets, most parents won’t even bat an eyelid when it happens, and will happily roll up their sleeves and help to clean it up. If you’re worried, organise the energetic games before the children tuck into chocolate, squash and cupcakes, then organise a quieter ‘sit-down’ game such as pass-the-parcel or a puppet show, for after the food, so there’s time for it to go down.

Fruit squash + birthday cake + overexcited toddler = trouble

7. The exhausted collapse

The party lasted a grand total of one and a half hours, but somehow it feels like you’ve been organising it for longer than you did your own wedding. And when the last mini person skips down the path, goody-bag and balloon in hand, and you close the front door, the first thing you do is collapse on the sofa. Surrounded by wrapping paper, plates of jelly and deflating balloons, you vow to yourself that next year, it will be a small party of three close friends. Yes, of course it will…

What did you do for your child’s birthday? Let us know in the comment box below.

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