Close Close
Mother and Baby

7 Things That Should Never Happen In Labour

It's exhausting, it's magical - its also sometimes highly embarrassing. Minimise your torment by following a few basic rules of end-of-pregnancy etiquette

1 Graphic Facebook updates

We want to see the named beautiful bundle, not your lady garden. And we don't need hourly dilation updates either, thanks.

2 Your husband using your gas and air

He sounds ridiculous enough most of the time anyway, without his partaking in your much-needed medication. So, he's nervous? Man up, dad.

3 Confusing the Midwife

If she asks if you need to use the toilet after thinking the piece of chocolate cake that your partner had been trying to feed you (which is now on the floor) is a bottom mishap, on your head be it. 

4 In-law Nudity

You should never have to deal with your husband's family while you're in a hospital gown with your private parts exposed. Backless nighties are not good for family bonding.

5 Missing man

Your husband/partner visiting the toilet for a no 2 just as you're about to give birth. He's feeling the urge to push too, apparently. 

6 Trumpeting your baby's arrival

Fanny farts are to be expected but they really shouldn't be. You will get flashbacks for the rest of your life, especially if you have a dishy doctor.

7 Man stealing food

Okay, he's been up as long as you have, but he's not exactly been working hard. So why is he tucking into the roast dinner meant for you, whilst you're writhing in agony, getting a tougher workout than a spin class.

Related content:


No comments have been made yet.

Chinese Gender predictor
Chinese Gender Predictor

Are you expecting a boy or a girl? Tell us the month you conceived and how old you are, and this clever little tool will predict the rest! 

Nappy rash is painful for parents as well as for your baby
Nappy rash is painful for parents as well as for your baby

Read Dr Pixie's guide to learn how to deal with nappy rash

The Magic Sleepsuit
The secret to a quiet night’s sleep – The Magic Sleepsuit

If you’re little one is struggling to settle now they’ve outgrown the swaddling stage, this could be the answer to your sleep-deprived prayers!

Celebrating parenting's small wins
Celebrating parenting's small wins

As mums, we're constantly told to enjoy every moment; in reality, parenting can sometimes be challenging. That's where small wins come in...

Subscribe button May
Subscribe to Mother&Baby

Be the best mum you can be and let Mother & Baby guide you along the way. Each issue is jam packed with REAL advice from mums just like you. Subscribe today & get a free welcome gift!

Ovulation Calculator
Ovulation calculator
Trying for a baby? Work out when you're most fertile to increase your chances of getting pregnant with our easy-to-use ovulation calculator.
Pregnant woman
Due Date Calculator

When is your baby due? If you’re having trouble remembering dates and counting up the days on your fingers and toes, don’t worry – use our due date calculator.

Get M&B in your inbox!

Sign up to Mother&Baby today and get news and advice about your body and your baby straight to your inbox every week. 

Lemonade Money
It’s time to make sure your loved ones are protected

Every parent knows the importance of planning ahead; from the new school shoes, to your little one’s education, you want to fill their future with hopes and dreams. Yet are you one of the 80% of adults here in the UK that has no life cover?