Month nine of your pregnancy…in which you put your Out Of Office on but your phone doesn’t stop.
There’s a quote you might have seen shared online, it goes like this:
‘Each month has an average of 30-31 days...except the last month of pregnancy which has 1,453 days’.
And that really sums up your life right now. This month will drag. It will be the longest 4 weeks or so of your life, but look how far you’ve come! There’s a tantalising flicker of something that looks like light at the end the tunnel.
Your teeny bean has swelled you to the size of a prize winning pumpkin (or two) and you are weeks away from meeting your beautiful child. Yes your feet and back ache right now but you have rocked this pregnancy, even when it hasn’t felt that way and the finish line is in sight.
This month will bring some of the things you’ve been longing for.
First up, maternity leave!
You might have stopped working before month nine, or you might be waiting a little longer but most women stick that Out Of Office on around 4 weeks before their due date and when it happens it’s like the Friday to end all Fridays (without the alcohol, the heels and the 5am walk of shame).
Month nine might be the longest but it’s also perhaps the most special - this is the time to really savour the excitement as well as take lots of time to indulge your laziest desires. There is nothing like the delight you will feel fizzing through your tired body as you snuggle into your sofa, with those maltesers and that box set knowing that you can stay there all day. And you can do it again tomorrow! Bliss is an understatement.
By month nine you might notice people start looking at you differently - a bit like they feel sorry for you as you waddle around and struggle to get up. You might do one of these two things: Tell them you're not elderly or ill and to stop looking at you like that. Or embrace it! Let them do stuff for you...it won’t last forever.
Oh but then there’s the endless telephone calls and texts which become a tad harder to put up with, especially if you’re over your due date and busy eating curries or walking up hills.
‘Is that baby not here yet?' they chime Or 'Any twinges?'
‘Erm, yes lots of bloomin' twinges actually but, still no baby so back off'.
These long days and nights of fending off well meaning messages and wondering, as you heave yourself into bed, if tonight will be the night, seem to go on and on. The phrase groundhog day finally makes sense to you.
What to read next:
You stand in the freshly painted nursery, day after day, in a silent, tidy house, looking at piles of unopened nappies, neat little stacks of newborn vests and a perfectly made up cot, hardly able to believe that a baby really will be with you anytime now. That huge bump, the wriggling inside and the raging heartburn still aren’t enough to quite convince you this is happening and it won’t sink in until you hold your squidgy baby first time.
You might be at month nine but you’re still in world of unknowns. You have no idea when the birth will happen, what your baby will weigh, will she have hair? What will it feel like? Will you have an epidural? Will you poo? Oh come on, you have thought about it, admit it. Look, it happens to some people and not to others and while you might find this hard to believe, when the time comes, you won’t care less.
Anyway you can’t worry about that now because there’s a fire. It’s in your chest and it’s woken you up from some bizarre dream about a pram running away down a mountain. By now you will feel like you have shares in a particular heartburn remedy and even though swallowing it back makes you gag, you are really get through that stuff! And when you mention how bad it is to anyone, they all say the same thing don’t they? ‘Ooh that means baby will have lots of hair!’.
Amid all these ups and downs, there is one thing that is set in stone and sealed as fate without you having a clue. Tantalisingly close on the horizon is your baby’s birthday and suddenly almost without warning, it will arrive and the wait will be over.
So the very best thing about month nine is that when the going gets tough, you know that next month, you will be looking into the face (and the exploding nappies) of your little one.
You’ve made it, together and now the fun really starts.
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