Close Close
Mother and Baby

What You Really Don't Want To Hear When You're Pregnant...

Everyone has a war story to share or sage advice to impart. Why won't the world just shhhhhhhhh?
Expand Image

'I'm having more sex...

And feel more sexy now I'm pregnant than I've ever felt before!'
Expand Image

'You can't really eat for two...

That's daft. Your child spends the first six months no bigger than a mango. So you can have the equivalent of an extra apple and a glass of milk.'
Expand Image

'Breastfeeding doesn't burn 500 calories a day...

So don't rely on that to burn off those cheesecakes you're ploughing through, Miss Piggy.'
Expand Image

'Skinny jeans...

And crop tops are the hot look of this season.'
Expand Image

'There's a free...

Champagne bar tonight! Let's go!'
Expand Image

'Do you...

Want to be my bridesmaid?'
Expand Image

'It's...

Triplets!'
Expand Image

'It's best to keep breastfeeding until they're three...

If you want your child to be well-adjusted and intelligent.'
Expand Image

'You mean you haven't...

Started playing Mozart to your belly yet?'
Expand Image

'Sorry, madam, we've run out of Haagen-Dazs...

All we have is frozen yoghurt.'
Expand Image

'What do you mean pregnancy has made you spotty and sweaty?

I feel radiant. I'm positively glowing.'
Expand Image

'Really? That is an...

Interesting choice of name.'
Expand Image

'My boobs fell to the floor...

Like Spaniel's ears after my first pregnancy.'
Expand Image

'I think you're being a bit dramatic talking about your aches and pains...

You're not ill. You're just pregnant.'
Expand Image

'I've found the perfect...

French cheese shop.'
Expand Image

'Stretch marks are Mother Nature's way...

Of tattooing your bravery on you for eternity.'
Expand Image

'I think I'd refer to it as a bit baggy now...

My nether regions, that is.'
Expand Image

'I didn't use any drugs and child birth was a fabulous experience...

She shot out in two hours and I didn't tear. But I had been doing my Kegel's since before I conceived.'
Expand Image

'I used every drug and child birth was a ghastly experience...

She finally came out after 43 hours in labour. And I had been doing my Kegel's since before I conceived.'
Expand Image

'You will never sleep soundly again...

Even when they're 25, you'll be worried about who they've fallen in love with, or how their boss treats them. Any peace of mind you had is essentially gone for ever.'
Related content:

Comments

No comments have been made yet.


It’s Christmas!
It’s Christmas!

From the best Advent Calendars, to festive pyjamas, and all the best Christmas gift guides... Plus our favourite Elf on the Shelf photos! 

A mum’s wisdom: Baby’s first Christmas!
A mum’s wisdom: Baby’s first Christmas

In part two of her new blog, mum Natasha talks about baby’s first Christmas. Brought to you by Palmer's. 

Subscribe to Mother&Baby!
Subscribe to Mother&Baby

Be the best mum you can be and let Mother & Baby guide you along the way. Each issue is jam packed with REAL advice from mums just like you. Subscribe today & get a free welcome gift!

Ovulation Calculator
Ovulation calculator
Trying for a baby? Work out when you're most fertile to increase your chances of getting pregnant with our easy-to-use ovulation calculator.
Pregnant woman
Due Date Calculator

When is your baby due? If you’re having trouble remembering dates and counting up the days on your fingers and toes, don’t worry – use our due date calculator.

Get M&B in your inbox!

Sign up to Mother&Baby today and get news and advice about your body and your baby straight to your inbox every week.