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The Big Baby Secret – Why We Stay Quiet About Our Fertility

Over half of you don’t tell anyone when you start trying to conceive, but you still need support, according to our M&B survey

Trying to get pregnant should be a happy time in your life, but the truth is the majority of us find is it's stressful, says our latest Mother&Baby survey. And if you’ve been trying to conceive for a while, finding out about all your options can be pretty confusing, too.

With our new campaign It’s Not Just You #fertility we’re going to bring you the facts and support you need. But first, we wanted you to tell us how you felt about your fertility.

Feeling the pressure

Whether or not you’ve been trying for a baby for months or you’ve just started, our survey showed that the majority of you – over 60 % – find trying to conceive stressful, and nearly three quarters feel the pressure is on you not your partner, regardless of who might actually have fertility probs. What's more, 45 per cent of women trying for a second baby felt worried about their fertility.

The ‘F’ word

While most of us don’t want to wear a flashing sign telling everyone from work colleagues to our mum-in-law we’re trying for a baby, more than half of you chose not to tell anyone (except your partner, obvs) your plans. You even avoid speaking to close family members or best friends, who may turn out to be a source of pressure. ‘Trying to conceive is a personal thing which people don’t always want to talk about,’ says Susan Sheenan from Infertility Network UK. ‘But there can be pressure from families saying “Isn’t it about time…?” which doesn’t help.’

Getting healthy

Understandably, you may not want to tell the world what you’re up to between the sheets, but improving your lifestyle has become a top priority, hence you’re waving off unhealthy lifestyles to up your chances. Nearly three quarters of you changed your lifestyle to increase chances of conceiving, with more than 50 per cent of you altering your diet, and 80 per cent taking supplements to give your fertility a boost.

 Join our campaign

Trying to get pregnant doesn’t have to be stressful, and if you find your stress-levels are rising, don’t worry; you’re not on your own. Whether you’re wondering how to change diet or confused about IVF, send us your questions to and we’ll get an expert to answer them (all questions will be anonymous).

Or, let us know how you feel about the pressure on women regarding fertility? Is it fair women are feeling so strained? Tweet us using using the hashtag #fertility or comment below.

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