Mother and Baby

18 things you can only get away with if you’re under two

Do you sometimes envy your toddler and their seemingly carefree life? Yep, there are definitely some things you could not get away with now.

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1) Run around naked. Anywhere.

Sometimes on a hot day you just want to rip your clothes off and become a nudist, but this is definitely not acceptable in the office.
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2) Snatch

You definitely saw that dress in the French Connection sale first. Now if only you could go all 'toddler' on her and snatch it back, screaming 'MINE!'
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3) Refuse to share

Tapas are our worst nightmare. Chips are not meant to be shared. No you can’t have a ‘bite’. (Well, this is what you think anyway, whilst sweetly saying ‘yes of course you can!')
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4) Ignoring people

Oh how we wish we could walk away in the middle of a conversation when we’re bored – just like a toddler. But no, these days that would be branded rude and anti-social. Sigh.
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5) Daytime naps. Whenever, wherever

Sometimes we’d just love to be able to take a snooze on our desk or have a little lie down on that park bench…
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6) Always choosing the (same) movie

There's only so many times you can get away with putting on The Notebook and having a good sob, without having to compromise with the other half who wants to watch Transformers.
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7) Being pushed around everywhere

Sometimes we really wish we could be a baby, being carted around in what is essentially a lovely cosy bed with wheels. Whoever thought heels were a good idea?!
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8) Shoplifting

Now you're a grown up, there's not explanation that will let you get away with grabbing whatever takes your fancy and nonchalantly walking out of the store
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9) Saying exactly what you think

The amount of times you wish you could say exactly what you think about your friend's new boyfriend/that man in the street/the food someone's just lovingly prepared for you. But we’re far too polite these days.
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10) Creating a mess

Oh how we long for the days when someone would clean up after us. And even better when you can make a chaotic mess at a friend’s house, then leave without the slightest guilt.
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11) Dress like no one is looking

Tiara with wellington boots and a cape? Cute when you're a toddler, weird when you're an adult. And that goes for your Cinderella costume too.
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12) Rude alternatives to normal words

Now you know how to speak, there's no getting away with that alternative word that almost sounds like cake…
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13) Finding joy in bodily functions

And letting EVERYBODY know about it.
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14) Being fussy... about everything!

You'd be labelled pedantic these days, or intolerably fussy. But sometimes we do just want things done, just the way we want them to be done. Even if that's completely different to what we said yesterday.
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15) Imitation

It may be the most sincere form of flattery, but just try refusing to answer unless someone calls you by your current hero's name.
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16) Laughing when someone falls over

We may laugh in our heads now, but we daren't giggle out loud.
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17) Pee wherever you like

Sometimes we wish we could just run to the nearest patch of grass to relieve ourselves, but instead, we hold it in for the entirety of our hour's commute home.
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18) Play all day long

A whole day to do whatever we want, guilt-free? Sounds heavenly.


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