Mother and Baby

15 things no one warns you about children's parties

Section: Being a parent

Times have changed, and birthday parties have moved on from six friends playing hunt the thimble in your parents’ front room and a bowl of jelly and ice cream.

Now, your weekends are a blur of leisure centres and village halls.

Chuck some soft play or a bouncy castle into the mix, quadruple the numbers, multiply the excitement levels and standby for a noise and sugar-related headache…

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1) Social niceties

You get stuck into to conversation with a really nice mum. But you can’t remember her name or that of her child. Awkward.
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2) Satnav problems

A thrilling round of hunt the community hall always adds some excitement.
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3) Boiling hot fun

Your child sweats more than you thought possible as he tears around, hair stuck to his face.
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4) There’s always one

Someone always cries and someone always refuses to join in.
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5) Refreshments?

Your opinion of the host's parents goes much higher if they have laid on coffees.
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6) Let me entertain you

The person booked to entertain the kids will either excite children to the point of hysteria or terrify them. It’s a fine line.
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7) Tummy trouble

You always wonder if the germs at soft play will lead to a tummy bug.
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8) Fun and games

Pass the parcel can other be completely harmonious or provoke large-scale ructions.
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9) Feast or famine

The food is usually impressive fare which – irritatingly – most of the kids ignore while your stomach rumbles. One savvy child however will always mine sweep the plates.
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10) Star baker

The birthday cake is epic. You hope it’s professionally made but your heart sinks when you realise it’s been home-baked.

The pressure is on for your kid’s party.
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11) The noise is next level

You have ringing ears and quite possibly long-lasting ear damage.
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12) Party of the century

Despite his sullen behaviour and constantly asking if it’s home time yet, your kid will swear the party was THE best event they have ever been to.
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13) Bang goes the fun

Despite the activities on offer, a room of six-year-olds will always go to war over the balloons. Then react dramatically when one, predictably, pops.
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14) Party bags

Never has a plastic yo-yo and a mini bag of Haribo been held in such high esteem.
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15) Partied out

You’re exhausted, he’s exhausted. But you’ll be doing it all again next weekend…

Can you relate to any of these? Let us know on Facebook or Twitter!

Now read:

12 party bag filler ideas for your toddler's birthday party

This genius children's party planning hack is a LIFESAVER

 
  • Author: Joanna Dunbar Joanna Dunbar
  • Job Title: Contributing writer

As a freelance writer, Jo covers parenting, health and lifestyle with the odd opinion-based rant and celebrity interview thrown in.

Before freelancing (and juggling journalism with two young sons), Jo was on staff at Good Housekeeping, Bella, Woman and The Mail on Sunday. When not typing furiously or refereeing the kids, Jo can be found pulling on her trainers for a gentle run or baking up a storm in her quest to produce the perfect brownie batch.