Having a baby is one of the most wonderful things to happen to a person. It’s also one of the most traumatic, lonely and half-crazed-from-sleep-deprivation times to endure.
Here’s how to be a good friend to your pal who’s just pushed out a progeny.
1. Be persistent in your offers to visit
In the normal run of social intercourse, someone offers a date and if the other person refuses that date it’s down to them to offer an alternate one.
This is not a normal state of affairs. And don’t say “let me know when you’re ready for a visit” because that time will never come, but offer specific dates until they feel ready to see other humans.
2. Be available during the day
Normal, adult time will have lost all meaning to your friend with a newborn: if you suggest meeting at eight they’ll genuinely wonder if you mean AM or PM. And if you mean PM there’s no way they can make it. Weekdays can be hella lonely for new mums, if you can make time on e.g. a Tuesday afternoon she’ll be grateful.
3. Go to her
But if she wants to meet outside the house as she feels like the walls are closing in, arrange to meet somewhere within walking distance of her house.
4. Meet in a place that serves coffee and cake
This is non-negotiable. Your friend runs on caffeine and sugar now.
5. Tell your friend their child is the most beautiful human a woman has ever produced
Even if you think the baby looks like a tomato or a wizened old man.
6. If your friend says ‘he looks like a tomato, don’t you think’?
Do not agree with your friend. Tell them that they are deluded and this is the most beautiful baby you have ever seen.
7. Take food
Food that you’ve cooked yourself and labelled and put in portion sizes in Tupperware. Food made with love just tastes so much better than anything Deliveroo can bring.
8. Offer to push the baby round the park while your friend has a bath
A bath makes everything better.
9. Offer to hold the baby while your friend goes to the toilet
You don’t know what a luxury going to the toilet on your own is until you can’t do it anymore.
10. Be prepared to talk. A lot
News from the adult world! Yes please.
11. Be prepared to listen to chat about poo
And breastfeeding, nappies, the exact number of times the baby woke in the night and how long they were awake for each time. This period will pass, for all concerned, but right now these are your pal’s primary concerns. Get your active listening hat on.
12. Keep checking in
Being alone with a baby for ten hours a day or more is an incredibly isolating experience. It takes seconds to send a text. Keep doing that.
George is digital editor at Closer magazine and regularly writes for Mother&Baby. She’s mum to an extremely handsome toddler, and her interests include rock and roll, weekends away and cheese. She would 100% wear Little Bird by Jools Oliver if it came in adult sizes and is a walking advert for jewelry design company Tatty Devine.
Feed your babies and toddlers with organic fruit and vegetables delivered to your door by GIGI's ORGANIC. We deliver the freshest organic fruit and vegetable subscription boxes weekly in London and Surrey to help mums with natural baby-led weaning and feeding growing families.
With over 40 years of dedicated research, the team at Aptamil Follow On Milk really know their stuff when it comes to follow on formulas. Here they answer some common questions to help you learn more about follow on milks.
Get on the right path to feeling more yourself again after birth with Soak for Bits, a new midwife-developed, soothing bath soak, from My Expert Midwife, aimed at helping women’s postpartum recovery...
To celebrate the launch of M&S’ exciting new baby range, Little Smiles, we’ve put it through our Tried&Tested panel to see how it stacks up. Here we take a look at the new M&S nappies, available in six sizes, ranging from £2-3.
To celebrate the launch of M&S’ exciting new baby range, Little Smiles, we’ve put it through our Tried&Tested panel to see how it stacks up. Here we take a look at the new M&S Little Smiles All Over Body Cream and Top-To-Toe Wash.
To celebrate the launch of Soak for Bits, the new arrival from My Expert Midwife, we have teamed up with the award-winning skincare brand for pregnancy, birth, new mums, and newborns to give 5 Mother&Baby mums the chance to win their very own Birth Recovery Duo.
To celebrate the launch of M&S’ exciting new baby range, Little Smiles, we’ve put it through our Tried&Tested panel to see how it stacks up. Take a look at what Mother&Baby parents thought of the new nappy pants...