“I’m lucky that my friends have stuck around, or at least when things started to change, they would approach me about it and we’d hash it out.
6. “My friend thought I wouldn’t be interested in her life anymore”
Things do change with some friends because you can’t follow up as much as you used to, but I don’t think you lose your close friends, unless one of you suddenly becomes a jerk! You go through a phase, especially in the beginning, where you don’t make sense to each other anymore because you’re in completely different places in life, but if the relationship is strong and has foundations, you should be able to find your way around it.
Both parties can adjust to the new circumstances, others sooner, others a bit later, but it can happen. With one of my friends, she started to make herself scarce as she thought that I wouldn’t be interested in her single-girl life anymore but I remember desperately needing to hear about her shenanigans because it was a glimpse of my old life away from changing nappies and dealing with my new reality!”
- Tracy B
“When I announced I was pregnant, my small group of close friends were excited and made all these promises of 'auntie' duties etc. Since my son was born almost two years ago, I can honestly say that not once in all that time, other than the initial baby visit, have any of them asked to come and see me and my son.
10. “It kills me that they just don't care”
Not even a text to see how I am – it's always me texting them... I just can't understand what I've done wrong.
One of my oldest and closest friends I'm lucky to see at my birthday and her birthday and even then, she looks pained to have to talk to me. I'm not an obsessive mother; I'm proud of my son of course and excited to talk about him… No one ever asks about him so he doesn't come up in conversation when we do meet which kills me that they just don't care; he is part of me after all.
In all honestly, I've had a turbulent time of it, from a traumatic birth that kept me in hospital for a week with blood transfusions, to struggling with personal anxieties about being a mum and marriage difficulties leading to counselling, I've had no one but my husband to turn to.”
- Littleladybird14, MumsNet user
“She is still my friend and I will always love and support her, but it’s just not that much fun anymore. I don’t want to have kids. I find them cute in small doses, but the longer I’m with them the more irritating they become. I want to have a beer, go out to dinner, go to concerts, see a movie, etc., without worrying about nap time, poopy diapers and crying.
11. “I ghosted my friend because it’s just not that much fun anymore”
It’s boring and dull to childless people – especially childless people that don’t care for children. It’s not that we don’t still care and value your friendship. It’s that we have different tastes and priorities now. You choose your life path and we choose ours. Try to plan an adults-only night or weekend, but I wouldn’t expect your childless friends to be thrilled with the tag-along.”
- Anonymous, Quora user