Mother and Baby

YouTube's Louise Pentland reveals struggle with PTSD and it's incredibly moving

Section: Mental health

Louise Pentland, the brains behind the YouTube account SprinkleofGlitter, is no stranger to opening up to her 2.4 million followers on social media. She regularly documents her life with warts and all vlogs,  relatable captions, and likes to call BS on a 'perfect' motherhood.

Now the lifestyle influencer has opened up about her struggle with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) in a heartfelt Instagram post.

Louise shared a snap of her daughter Darcy, 7 with a realistic caption addressing her experience with the condition. 

‘I thought my baby Darcy was perfect, I loved her, I'd have run through a burning building for her but my God I struggled. I was lonely AF, felt like a fat frumpy shell of my former self, mentally unstimulated, frustrated that I wasn't experiencing the 'best job in the world' or feeling 'completely in love' with her and frankly, a bit bored.'

'Every time I thought of the birth I cried and felt dirty.’

 

Remember all those videos I made in 2011 about how to handle the baby months, how much I was loving new motherhood and how fantastic I found newborn life? Nope, nor do I because I didn't make them. It's UK MATERNAL MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS WEEK and the theme is 'support for all'. I didn't make those videos because I didn't find it fantastic or wonderful. I thought my baby Darcy was perfect, I loved her, I'd have run through a burning building for her but my God I struggled. I was lonely AF, felt like a fat frumpy shell of my former self, mentally unstimulated, frustrated that I wasn't experiencing the 'best job in the world' or feeling 'completely in love' with her and frankly, a bit bored. Every time I thought of the birth I cried and felt dirty. I mentioned it briefly to my dr and he suggested 'the baby blues'. It took for me to be triggered by Pearl's pregnancy to be diagnosed with PTSD. Also, the thing about bored and frustrated, that's true- Motherhood is those things sometimes! It's ok to say it too! You don't always have to preface with 'I love my baby but' or end with 'but it's worth it'. If you feel cruddy, PLEASE keep telling your midwife/dr, even if it's years after. Good news is, you can get better, it all gets a LOT better. And when it is all better, you do find yourself making all those videos and telling people, 'motherhood, it's the best job in the world!' ❤️👶🏼👧🏼❤️

A post shared by sprinkleofglitr (@louisepentland) on

Louise explained how when she made videos back in 2011, they weren't centred around her joy for motherhood. She didn't make those sort of videos, because she didn't find it fantastic or wonderful.

These were all signs that something wasn’t quite right. She briefly mentioned it to her doctor who suggested it was ‘the baby blues.’ It took Louise to be triggered by her second child Pearl being born, to be diagnosed with PTSD.

On the Instagram post, Louise continues to encourage her big following to always speak out.

‘If you feel cruddy, PLEASE keep telling your midwife/dr, even if it's years after. Good news is, you can get better, it all gets a LOT better. And when it is all better, you do find yourself making all those videos and telling people, 'motherhood, it's the best job in the world!’

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder after pregnancy affects about one or two in every 100 women giving birth.

If you are finding things unmanageable, please read our helpful guide for more information. 

Now read:

Gwyneth Paltrow: 'I never thought I'd be a person who got postnatal depression'

Here's what you can do if you didn't get the birth you wanted

 
 
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