Mother and Baby

5 important things to tell yourself if you've been mum-shamed

Section: Mental health

The way every parent raises their child is different. As long as it’s not illegal and your child is happy and healthy, there is no particular right or wrong way to do parenting. The way you parent should be between you and your other half, and the only advice you should take seriously is your paediatrician’s or any other medical professional that you’ve consulted. (Note: If you don’t like what your paediatrician has to say, you can find another one that is more suited to your parenting style.)

Here are a few ways to deal with being mum-shamed:

 

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​1. Have confidence in yourself as a parent

You know yourself and you know your child. If your child is living their best life, that’s all that matters. If you’re not sure about the subject someone is attempting to “shame” you on, look into it and ask a professional.
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2. Remember, there is no such thing as an unjudged mother

People project when they comment on other people’s lives. They might also genuinely want to help or be involved somehow. On rare occasions, their advice might even be helpful. Accepting all of this can help us stop taking things personally.
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​​3. Make sure you have a top-notch support system

Dr. Melissa Wilkes Requenez, assistant professor in the Menninger Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Baylor College of Medicine says, “To cope with mom-shaming, it is essential for moms to have a good support system, whether it is through family or friends. They need to surround themselves with a circle of people who are positive influences and talk to people they trust. If a mom has concerns about a certain subject she has been criticised for, seeking advice from somebody with thorough knowledge about the subject would be helpful as well.”
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4. Stick up for yourself! 

“This is how we do it in this household,” “I’m happy with my parenting choices,” “Thanks for your opinion, but I’ll stick to mine,” are all things you can say that should end the conversation right there. Mila Kunis said it best, “If it’s not for you, don’t look.”
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5. Ignore them or laugh it off, for the sake of your sanity

Take a leaf out of Chrissy Teigen’s book who tries to – as sassy as ever – see the funny side!

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