Parenthood changes the best of us – and has a habit of making us do things we never thought we would. Even if we said we wouldn’t. From gushy Facebook statuses to shunning the gym for repeats of Peppa Pig - here is everything you swore wouldn't happen, but definitely did!
That you wouldn’t post DAILY Facebook statuses about your babyIt’s not your fault if your baby does something amazing every single day, is it? Every one of your FB friends should know just how fab she is.
That you wouldn’t be one of those mums who didn’t bother to get dressed all dayBut really, what’s the point in throwing on an outfit only for it to be vommed on. Sometimes PJs until 7pm is exactly what’s needed.
That you wouldn’t get rid of your gym membershipHello? You definitely don’t have the time or energy for a weekly workout anymore. Besides picking up your baby 40 times a day does wonders the bingo wings.
That you wouldn’t talk about your baby nonstopYet somehow you manage to wangle every conversation around to them. Especially on that rare night out with your hubby.
That you wouldn’t let your toddler sleep in your bedBut when he crawls in bedside you at 4am, you seriously don’t have the energy to put him back in bed for the third time that night.
That you wouldn’t refer to your partner as daddy in publicIt’s happened twice already. Much to your friends’ amusement.
That you wouldn’t use not having a babysitter as an excuse to get out of a night outBut funnily, it seems to happen almost every Saturday night. The sofa, your PJs and reruns of Absolutely Fabulous is waaaay more appealing than finding something vaguely suitable to wear out.
That you wouldn’t ever leave the house without make-upBut getting your baby washed, dressed and looking all cute, clean and cuddly is way more important than what you look like.
That you wouldn’t talk about the contents of your baby’s nappyBut you regularly have graphic poo conversations over coffee with your friends. Sometimes they confound human possibilities.
That you wouldn’t put your child on the spot like a performing monkeyIn your defence, Uncle Bob did wait 15 minutes to see your son roll over on his playmat with only minimal assistance from you.
That you wouldn’t bribe your toddler with foodIf a pack of chocolate raisins keeps him quiet while you’re whizzing around Morrisons then you’re all for it.
That parenthood wouldn’t affect your jobBetween the bouts of flu, flakey nanny and complete and utter exhaustion all you can say is thank god you have an understanding boss.
That you wouldn’t be one of those plane passengers with a crying baby annoying everyoneHow else are you meant to get to the Algarve?! And keeping a baby tear-free on a three-hour flight is practically impossible. You would love to see the other passengers give it a go.
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