How Soon Should Couples Discuss The Possibility Of Children?


by Alison Coldridge |

New figures show just how many couples are ending up childless because they never talked about having a baby

It can be an awkward conversation for some couples, but the ‘shall we start a family’ chat is crucial if you envision children in your future. But new statistics show that four in 10 childless couples didn’t broach this topic enough – if at all.

A study, conducted by Middlesex University, has found that some childless couples only had one conversation about having kids. Other couples never talked about the possibility of starting a family at all.

‘Not having children is obviously a very important decision, and what was interesting from the research was the negligible amount of discussion that couples engaged'

Edina Kurdi, a lecturer in social policy, led the research and polled a group of childless women who were both married or in long-term relationships. She found that some of the women only talked to their partner about having children for a matter of seconds because they felt there was little to discuss while others said they only ever brought the subject up because of pressure from family or friends.

‘Not having children is obviously a very important decision, and what was interesting from the research was the negligible amount of discussion that couples engaged in – many are agreeding not to have children in one conversation, or in an unspoken way,’ says Edina.

‘Very little attention has been paid to the negotiations within romantic relations about not having a family, even though developed countries are facing a general decline in fertility combined with an accelerated rate of childlessness,’ added Edina.

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