Paloma Faith is a singer, actress and mum to a two-year-old. She chooses to not publically disclose her child's name and gender and has revealed she will be bringing up her tot as gender neutral.
Mother&Baby sat down with Paloma to discover the top lessons she's learned since becoming a parent...
"I'm able to be the mother I am capable of being, it took until my child was 18 months for me to feel I was a good parent, but I can stand up and say that."
1) It may take a while to feel like a 'good parent'
"Becoming a mum changed me in the opposite way to how people might think. I've actually become more childlike and more imaginative. I've also got a confidence I didn't have before: going through a traumatic birth and coming out the other side made me feel like a real warrior!"
2) Motherhood can change you in ways you wouldn't expect
"An average day for me is waking up before my child does, having my hair and make-up done, then spending the day at work, often on location. But the bedtime routine is scheduled between 6pm and 8pm, and that’s blocked out in my diary every day.
3) Life as a mum is manic
The other day, I said to the director: ‘I’d really like to get home to spend some time with my child because I didn’t see them this morning.’ And that’s how it works. But after bedtime, I got dressed again, put my make-up back on and went out and did a gig for a charity event! I threw my eyelashes out the car window on the way home and got into bed with full make-up on… I’m using every ounce of my energy now!"
"Throughout my pregnancy and motherhood, I felt all of the products out there were forcing me to change who I am as a person. And I don’t want to change!
4) You don't need to compromise your indentity
So, with my collaboration with Cosatto, I got to create exactly what I wanted and they loved it! When I was growing up, I friend once said to me, ‘Always dress as if you’re going out because you might!’– and that includes your buggy!"
"I get misunderstood when I talk about gender neutrality. For me, it’s about empowering your child to be whoever they are. I don’t believe in restraining children when they’re so young when it comes to what they should or should not be interested in. I think you might miss out on your child’s flair if you don’t bring them up with the option to be, and the knowledge that they can be, who they are."
5) You should let your child be themself
"The impact that birth had on my body was really challenging. For three months, I was just sitting in the bedroom, breastfeeding the baby and feeling really rubbish. I remember crying and listening to a lot of Nick Cave. It took me over a year to recover physically from the birth and I’d say a little bit longer still, psychologically. I quite like my caesarian scar now because I think it tells a story but before, when I wasn’t quite back to being me, I was like, ‘I hate it!’ There’s a lot that people don’t talk about in motherhood – like, I still have piles! Now!
6) There's a lot people don't talk about in motherhood
Photo credit: Elliot Morgan
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