Month three of your pregnancy…in which you finally relax but then lose your memory.
Month three has arrived! Hurrah! You’re bouncing all over the place and with good reason after just living through what felt like the longest 12 weeks of your life.
Now is the time you might finally get to say ‘Oh sorry I’ve been a bit of a cow for the past few months but I’m PREGNANT so, I’m like, totally forgiven, right?’
Announcing your pregnancy
There’s a good chance you’ve already let it slip to your nearest and dearest but how about everyone else you know? Poor old Colin in accounts is never going to ask ‘Are you pregnant?’ no matter how much you stand there rubbing your bump. So, how will you spill the beans?
Pregnancy announcements are a big deal these days and frankly coming up with an original idea is akin to getting a question right on University Challenge.
Will you post a picture of your 12 week scan on Facebook or is that a big fat no in your book? A not so cryptic ‘and then there were 3’ status update maybe, a pic of your new ‘family’ car? Train your Pug to bark it...whatever it is and even if you don’t ‘do’ social media, don’t pretend you haven’t daydreamed for weeks about finally telling the world (You’ve definitely told at least one random stranger on the train).
By month three you might have stopped going to the loo every 7 seconds which is a shame really because you’re now on intimate terms with the local public toilet and you kinda miss it and all those ‘Shazza woz ere’s’.
Plus, now you’re not peeing so much you’re quietly wondering ‘oh, is this normal?’ because being pregnant switches on some evil paranoia you never knew you had - but yes it is normal for the peeing to slow down but it absolutely will come back later with a vengeance.
Have you got that pregnancy glow?
Does your Google history by any chance list the phrase ‘best spot treatments’ or similar?
There’s a good chance you might be sporting the odd pimple or three this month as your skin starts to react to the surge of hormones that have taken over.
Everyone says you’re ‘glowing’ but frankly you know they’re a bunch of lying toads - you feel more like a pregnant Kevin the teenager. And the less said about that annoying relative who tells it like it is with a ‘Ooh you must be having a girl - they say girls steal their mother’s beauty’ - the better.
Or (and you can admit this) do you find yourself gazing at your new found beauty? Are you looking the best you ever have and you damn well know it? High five to that.
You might feel like a waddling old lady but you’re looking 10 years younger and you’re buzzing…(but thank goodness you didn’t know about this particular spot cure when you were a teenager).
Early onset Baby Brain
By the end of month three you might well have done some of the daftest things you’ve ever done in your life.
There’s nothing like pregnancy to make you wonder if you’re actually on the road to early onset dementia. You can be given all the pregnancy tips there are, but the most important one is to leave a set of keys in a good hiding place because when you forget where you put yours for the zillionth time you’ll be glad of those spares buried in the backyard or wherever,
Baby brain is a thing, OK?
Roll your eyes all you like but you’ll soon be accepting it when you’ve just put a hundred and twenty quids worth of groceries through the till and realised you’ve forgotten your purse and the Mrs Hannigan of the checkout is glaring at you like you just stole her gin! Smile sweetly, push out that bump and say those words ‘Oh my gosh I’m so sorry, Baby Brain or what?’
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