It’s happened, you’re expecting and you can’t wait to share the news. But before you burst out with your big announcement live on social media (or in person) stop and read this feature…
Finding out you’re pregnant is one of those life-changing experiences – your heart pounds, your head whirls and you feel, well, seriously giddy.But whether you do a Penelope Cruz, Holly Valance or Beyonce (all around five months pregnant before they confided their baby news) or Kim Kardashian (boyf Kanye West announced her impending arrival at around her 12-week pregnancy mark), deciding when to tell family, friends and your work about your pregnancy is a very personal decision.
Obviously there’s a fear of miscarriage if you announce it too soon – which Beyonce (who miscarried before Blue Ivy) cited as the reason she didn’t tell the world of her impending motherhood until she was around half-way through pregnancy.
‘I felt like there are so many couples that go through that and it was a big part of my story it was one of the hardest things I’ve been through,’ she said. ‘It's one of the reasons I did not share I was pregnant the second time and... it was hard.’
However, just to help you sort the wood from the trees (or the baby gros from the bibs…), we’ve come up with five things you should consider before blabbing about baby.
1. Have you had enough time to process the news?
The most important people in this situation are you and your Babydaddy. You need to talk about it, have space and time to think (and look forward to) the changes that will soon happen in your life and enjoy the excitement. Just the two of you.
It’s OK (and normal) to feel a mad mixture of emotions both good and bad. And start freaking out about how the hell you’re going to find the room for a nursery.
2. Are you at or over 12 weeks and had your scan yet?
This is the time when most excited mums-to-be feel it’s safe announce their big news. Why? The most likely time for a miscarriage is between six and 10 weeks (there’s a 30% risk), which lessens considerably from the 12-week mark.
Of course, having a miscarriage is nothing to be ashamed of, but it’s so terribly sad that a lot of women would rather not have to share the upsetting news with too many people.
3. Do your family and close friends know?
Can you imagine how upset your parents, in-laws, close family and best mates would be if they found out about your pregnancy via your Facebook or Twitter newsfeed? #Epicfail. Contact the important people in your life personally first (or announce it at a party they’re all at), before letting it loose on social media.
4. You don’t need to tell your employer until 15 weeks (just over three months) before the beginning of the week your baby is due.
Some people tell their workplace earlier than this - but don’t worry you’re not obliged to make any early announcements. However, once your news out in the open you can start planning everything from when to go on a babymoon to maternity leave dates and the statutory maternity pay you can expect.
And, let’s face it, the earlier you tell your workplace, the sooner you can start rocking some amazing maternity wear or undoing the top button of your trousers and letting that belly pop right out.
5. Do you need some support and understanding?
Maybe you’ve been feeling dreadful with morning sickness? Finding it almost impossible to disguise your puffier pregnancy figure? Or feeling so emotional that you can barely hold it together – to name a few things?
Well, this is when the support, advice and comfort from your workplace, friends and family can be invaluable (especially if it’s a first pregnancy.) This is why some women decide to risk telling people before the 12 week mark – so no matter what happens they feel less alone.