Mother and Baby

Should The ‘12-Week Rule’ Be Scrapped?

When you get pregnant, you’re advised to wait until your 12-week scan to announce your pregnancy to the world. But one woman's spoken out why this isn't always the best scenario...

After the all clear of your first scan to know your baby is fully formed and is now a ‘foetus’ in medical terms, a tiny bump is just about showing and you can finally reveal your happy news to family, friends and workmates.
But what if it doesn't go to plan? One in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage, according to The Miscarriage Association. The most common time to miscarry is within the first 12 weeks, officially classed as an 'early miscarriage', with chromosome problems are thought to be the most common cause.
For women who didn’t reveal their baby news in the first place, it can be a very isolating time; something one writer is looking to change.
Bee Rowlatt, writing in the Daily Mail today, suffered a miscarriage trying for her fourth child, and says this has made her realise why it isn't great to keep your pregnancy to yourself.

‘Having kept my original happiness at being pregnant a secret, I was trapped in that secrecy, unable to share the burden of loss,' she says.

‘Staggering around in my own private pain, I wasn’t even sure how upset I was supposed to be. I found myself asking if this even qualified as a bereavement. Despite medics telling me this is something that happens all the time, it felt like a hidden and unspoken affliction,’ she said.

‘Finally it struck me that part of the problem was the secrecy itself. So, I decided to break with tradition and go public. I ended up sharing my grief with pretty much anyone who asked me how I was. The responses were overwhelming.’


‘I could not have anticipated how common my experience was, that I would encounter so many other women who had been through the same trauma. At times I wondered what on Earth I had tapped into — how had all this pain gone unnoticed?,’ she added.

‘The three-month secrecy rule is misguided if its only defence is "in case things go wrong".'

‘When things go wrong you need the support of the people around you. Women are endlessly bossed around in all aspects of pregnancy and child rearing. I say dump the tradition,’ Bee concluded.

Do you agree that the 12-week secrecy should be scrapped? Let us know your thoughts below.

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