Mother and Baby

Finding out the sex of your baby - the pros and cons

Section: Week by Week

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Weigh up the options of finding out if your bump is a boy or a girl at your scan, and decide whether it’s the right choice for you

One of the thorniest issues to mull over with your partner during pregnancy is whether you really want to find out the sex of your unborn baby. But what exactly are the pros and cons of finding out if you’ll give birth to a George or Georgina?

Make sure it’s a joint call

Whatever decision you make, you should be united as a couple (If you sneak off and find out anyway, you’ll let it slip – guaranteed!).

Discuss the reasons with each other why do you want to know or not. ‘You will have a lot to deal with as a couple when you are expecting a baby, disagreeing over this issue needn’t be one of them,’ says Dr Sandra Wheatley, social psychologist specialising in parenting and families.

Bond with your unborn baby

Research suggests that finding out the sex of your baby early can help you bond.

‘If for example, you felt sure you were having a boy, and started imagining playing football with him, finding out you are having a girl can help you start to imagine more accurate scenarios,’ says Sandra. Buy a super cute boy or girl outfit to kickstart your day dream.

Do you want to keep it a secret?

If you decide you both want to know the sex of the baby, take time to consider whether you want to keep the news to yourself or share it with those closest to you.

‘If you are unsure whether to find out the sex of the baby, have a think about whether you and your partner would want to share the news with friends and family or keep it to yourselves,’ says Sandra. ‘I’d say share the news as it is a big secret to keep for several months, and we all tend to refer to our unborn baby as ‘he or she’ rather than ‘it’ so the secret could well come out.

Plus, think how much you’ll be fretting if your partner lets it slip. But that said, appreciate it could easily be done.’

But remember, knowing won’t change anything

Be honest with yourself about the effect it may have if it isn’t the news you’re hoping for. If you already have two daughters and your heart is set on a little boy.

If are wanting to hear you are having a boy , will you cope if you are told it’s another girl? Little doubt you will love the baby just the same, but other people’s perceptions of the way you accept the news may make for some rather uncomfortable moments. People may assume you are “disappointed”, even though deep down you will simply be delighted to have a fit and healthy baby.

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Having worked across a variety of magazines, on topics from food to travel to horses, Stephanie now works as a Digital Writer for Mother&Baby online. 

She loves taking her lurcher puppy Moss for long walks in the country, and spending time with her niece and two nephews. In her spare time she writes fiction books and enjoys baking (her signature bake is lemon drizzle cake).

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