Whether it’s two hours or 12, there are some rites of passage you only experience at umpteen thousand feet with your toddler. Happy flying!
The rush out the door
You set the alarm an hour early and the bags were packed the night before. Yet, anything involving passports inevitably sees you all legging it out the door and bundling into the car at high(ish) speed. It wasn’t like this before children. Image: Corbis
The trolley ride
In the absence of a sofa, your child sits (and is maybe even pushed if he’s lucky) on the trolley with the sort of glee usually reserved for when Gangnam Style comes on the radio. You’re a little bit jealous you can’t do it, too. Image: Corbis
The check-in juggle
Umpteen passports, a grizzly toddler and that irrational panic that you don’t look like the type of organised/innocent/wonderful family they’ll want to let on the plane. Stand up straight, now. Image: Corbis
The vending machine
Don’t make eye contact with it. Don’t let your toddler. Oh fine, then. Dairy Milk and a Ribena it is. It is a holiday, after all. Image: Corbis
The boarding relief
Three cheers for letting people with kids get on first! Image: Corbis
The seat hope
Holding your breath as you approach your seats in anticipation of your neighbour. Fingers crossed it’s someone minus a briefcase of important, high-security documents. Or at least a person with headphones. Or smiling. Image: Corbis
The take-off stand up
The seatbelt sign is on, but your toddler is definitely not sitting still. Why miss all the fun going on outside? Especially if you’re delayed on the tarmac. iPad at the ready… Image: Corbis
The round-the-track laps
Just like students doing a circuit of a bar to see who’s there, chances are your toddler will want to do a few laps of the plane. Particularly while the food/drink trolley is doing the rounds. Image: Corbis
Is that gin on the drinks trolley? Sigh… Image: Corbis
The chair-in-front kick
For someone with seriously little legs, your toddler sure can use them. That poor person in front. Move over, Walcott. Image: Corbis
The passenger curiousity
With so many new people around, your toddler’s social side appears with gusto. One M&B-er’s family sat behind a bald man on a flight and their two year old thought it was funny to slap his head continuously. The man and his wife certainly didn't. Image: Corbis
Proud mum face
That warm and fuzzy feeling as other passengers ‘aw’ over your child. Yes, he is so cute and hilarious. Image: Corbis
The airhostess attention
Toddlers definitely get the most attention from cabin crew. Image: Corbis
The toilet investigation
When he touches everything in the plane toilet, including the actual loo. Enough to give you OCD-style palpitations. Image: Corbis
No amount of books/Lego/teddies are as interesting as the Kindle/magazine/nail varnish your neighbour is enjoying. Image: Corbis
The in-flight film options include that Halle Berry one that isn’t even out in the UK yet. But, if you get a chance to put a movie on, then it’s the children’s section all the way. Image: Corbis
The nap bliss
He’s having a snooze. Ah… Image: Corbis
The seatbelt resistance
The light pings, the captain speaks and it’s seatbelts on for descent. Just before your little one loudly announces he needs a poo. Image: Corbis
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