Around one in five women in the UK will suffer a miscarriage at some point in their lives, and each will cope with it differently. Here’s how you can get through the pain and feel positive about the future.
You may feel the impact of your miscarriage immediately, or it may be weeks before you start processing your feelings. It is normal to feel numb or try to block it out. However, it’s important to acknowledge what has happened so you can release the emotions of what you’ve experienced.
Emotions can range from grief to guilt, shock and anger.
If you feel able to talk to a friend, your partner or a family member, explaining how you feel can be helpful. If you’d rather confide in a stranger, you can talk to a support counsellor on the phone anonymously on support lines.
As well as the emotional side effects of having a miscarriage, you may experience a range of physical symptoms, including a loss of appetite, tiredness, difficulty sleeping or difficulty concentrating. The amount you bleed after your miscarriage will vary, but if you’re worried, see your GP.
Dealing with the loss
It can be difficult to move out of pregnancy mode and get on with your life after a miscarriage, regardless of how many weeks pregnant you were. If you’ve been trying to conceive for a while and feel like you’re back to square one, you could benefit from shifting your perspective. It’s really important to trust in your body.
Repeat mantras such as ‘My body knows how to get pregnant and I’m allowing it to do so’ and ‘I got pregnant once and I can get pregnant again’ to reinforce a connection with your body whenever you feel overwhelmed.
Saying goodbye to your baby will help you feel a sense of closure so you can move on with positive thoughts. Try writing a letter to your baby. Thank her for being part of your life and share the hopes and dreams you had for her. Or say a few words to your baby, before releasing a balloon.
Your GP can provide you with support and advice, and the following organisations can also help:
The Miscarriage Association: Be put in touch with a support volunteer via the helpline 01924 200 799 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 4pm) or contact firstname.lastname@example.org.
Babyloss.com: Find a list of support groups in the UK including online miscarriage support networks http://www.babyloss.com/support_groups.php
Cruse Bereavement Care: Find your local Cruse support branch here: www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk
or call the helpline 0844 477 9400 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm).