Dealing with your emotions after a miscarriage can be overwhelming. And one of the things that you might find too much is hanging around your friends who are pregnant or new mums
For some women, being around their pregnant friends after a miscarriage s comforting and a great source of support. But for many it can be a painful reminder of your own grief.
Take a break from children and pregnant friends
Going through a miscarriage can be a traumatic event and it can take a long time until you feel ready to spend time with your pregnant friends or their children. After all, it’s difficult not to see it as a reminder of what you’ve just been through.
If you feel comfortable enough, let these friends know you need some time out for a while. Being honest with them about how you feel could even make your friendship stronger.
In the meantime, it may help to confide in your partner or friends who are not pregnant or parents. Talking to them will help them understand what you are going through, and serve as a helpful recovery step.
Coping with friends’ pregnancy news after a miscarriage
When you feel ready to spend more time with your pregnant friends, it’s important to remember it is completely normal to have upsetting feelings.
When friends share their pregnancy news, it can feel as if they are being unintentionally insensitive which is hard to deal with. ‘It is important to be proactive about addressing these emotions,’ says Dr Geetha Venkat, Director of Harley Street Fertility Clinic. ‘Chatting to a counsellor can help as it will allow you to talk about your feelings openly.’
Be patient with yourself
Being patient and allowing yourself the time to accept that you have gone through a miscarriage and all the feelings it brought, will help you move forward.
Whatever you do, don’t add guilt about your feelings to everything else. It is normal if your immediate reactions to pregnancy and baby news are not jumping for joy.
Acknowledging these feelings means ‘owning’ them, and acceptance. You will then be able to be around pregnancy and babies without these feelings, again.