You may start off barely knowing what TTC means (trying to conceive, for any newbies), but before long you'll be speaking in acronyms and becoming more than a little obsessed with the process of getting pregnant. Any of these sound familiar?
Please, make me fat…
You never thought it would happen, but actually the idea of gaining weight and feeling emotional, tired, sick and pretty darn uncomfortable for nine months is starting to sound like a dream come true.
The new O in your life
Didn’t you know, these days the big ‘O’ stands for ovulation not orgasm.
Symptom spotting is seriously addictive – who knew? If your stomach so much as rumbles, you wonder if it’s early nausea… If you pee more at night, you wonder if a fertilised egg is pushing on your bladder already?
And you long for that weird taste in your mouth you've heard about…
Yes, it is possible to become worryingly comfortable with fondling your boobs in public, to see if they’re feeling sore or swollen (which they probably will be when you’ve finished with them).
Satisfied in bed? Who cares…
These days, the most important thing about sex is that it’s gravity friendly. (Check out our guide to sex positions for TTC here...).
The red devil
Your period has officially become the enemy. You dread it with a fervour that you’ve barely experienced since being made to do long-distance running at school.
These days, the most important thing about sex is that it’s gravity friendly
You wonder why the world has suddenly become flooded with bumps, buggies, babies and pregnancy-related TV plots? Even that woman in The Archers is up the duff. And now your friends have joined in and have started announcing that they’re expected in quick succession.
Sometimes it is necessary to downgrade your expensive moisturiser in order to fund your new peeing on a stick habit. Ovulation kits, pregnancy tests… these things don’t come cheap, people.
Your new career
It has struck you that you could probably teach part of the GCSE biology syllabus with your new in-depth knowledge of male and female reproductive health.
If you want to keep up your partner’s enthusiasm for Project Baby, it may be sensible to lay off on the chat about your cervical mucous. Yes, it may be an indication that you’re finally ovulating. No, he doesn’t have to know about it.