My husband and I haven’t used protection for seven months now in our attempts to start a family. And what you realise after seven months of trying for a baby is that you have to have a lot of sex.
I know that doesn’t sound like ground-breaking information, but it suddenly hit home to us how often normal life gets in the way of sex.
This month we didn’t get pregnant. But this time, it’s easy to know why – we simply didn’t have enough sex, or at least, not enough sex at the right time.
Life got in the way. He was too tired, then I was too tired, then I got ill, then we both got norovirus (NOT sexy. At all). Then I had a few nights away for work, which coincided with ovulation. So it didn’t happen this month.
What’s also important is to remember why you need to have all the sex. It can so easily turn into “We need to do it, and we need to do it NOW, even if you are tired/poorly/in the middle of a phone conference.” But the sex is about how much you love each other, not purely a process to go through to reach an end goal. It’s hard to keep this in mind, it’s hard to put romance above ovulation calculators and core temperatures.
It’s no wonder than any couple trying for a baby starts to go a bit bonkers.
We had a lovely weekend away recently, and although we didn’t do the deed, and it wouldn’t have been at the right time anyway, it was really valuable as a couple. We remembered how much we love each other. We had fun, we relaxed, and we got a bit drunk. And it’s those times that you remember why you want to start a family together in the first place.
We also had a lot of fun talking about the best way to get pregnant - in a Karma Sutra kinda way - and reading lots of articles about the best sex posititions if you’re trying for a baby... I’m not convinced there is any science in this at all, but if it means I get to stay lying in bed afterwards and claim it’s not just because I want a nap, then I’m all for it.
Now, enough of this writing malarkey, I need to go and have sex with my husband.