You have a lovely baby and all’s going well (most of the time, anyway). Could it be time for number two? Work out whether you’re ready
Seeing this gorgeous baby you’re raising, it’s almost hard to get your head around the fact that it’s actually you and your partner doing this. You who are, without fail, 10 minutes late for work every day (often arriving with puree on your blouse), and he who constantly forgets the wipes/comforter/box of raisins every time he takes the baby out.
But, here you are, bringing up a child as a couple and, in general, doing a pretty good job. You’ve been asked if you’re ready for baby number two. Umm-ed. Ahh-ed (over your baby’s newborn pics). Panicked. And now you’re ready to seriously consider it.
Don’t underestimate what you’ve learned
Thinking back to those early days with your baby, it was incredible but it was also pretty exhausting. Bear in mind, you’ve learned a hell of a lot, which you can definitely put into practice with baby number two. Baby bath? Forget it. The sink works just fine.
Remember you’re not complete novices. You can be those seasoned, wise(ish) second-time parents in the antenatal class.
Have that conversation
The idea of having a new baby with a toddler racing around is pretty daunting. Sit down together and discuss what you’d need to make this work. Chat about work and money, but also how you’re both currently coping physically and emotionally with being parents – addressing any issues can help you plan and work through them.
Support and look after yourselves
You want to feel like you’re in a place where you can support your partner and family, but also where you’re not running on empty.
Get into the habit of looking after yourselves – organise date nights , take time to do something you love, whatever makes you both relaxed and happy.
‘This’ll put you in a better mindset to make decisions about baby number two and consider how you’d handle it,’ says Claire Brummel, relationship coach at Feminine 1st.
Get advice – but make decisions together
Ask your friends and family if you want advice, but make plans with your partner.
‘This needs to be a joint choice and you want to be open with him, not trying to influence him with the decision you just made with your best friend,’ says Claire. Perhaps don’t show his the new baby name list you’ve made just yet, either.