If trying to make a baby is putting a strain on your relationship, remind yourselves why you’re together with some couple TLC
Between ovulation calculators and making sure you’re both home in time for that quickie, trying for a baby definitely adds an extra level of scheduling to your relationship.
Let’s be honest, you’re not going to ignore your baby-making schedule or all those top TTC habits. But they don’t have to rule your life.
Make time for your relationship
The TTC experience can test any relationship, so dedicate time to reminding yourselves why you’re good together so you don’t lose sight of that.
Plan a date, book a weekend away or even have a mushy moment reading back through old emails or cards you sent each other in the early days.
Enjoy your sex life
Yes, you’re having sex with making a baby in mind, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be fun. Parenthood can put obstacles in the way of sex-capades, so take the chance now to have the best sex of your life, whether that’s heading al fresco or testing out new positions.
‘It’s easy to look at yourselves almost as baby-making devices, but actually trying to keep the desire alive will help you both relax, which is ultimately more productive,’ says relationship coach Claire Brummel.
Be open and communicate…
Support each other and keep talking, whether it’s about how that fertility test works or what’s on your mind.
‘Pushing your make-a-baby plan out of your mind is unrealistic, so don’t hide what you’re feeling from one another,’ says Claire.
Want to bring up something a bit awkward or uncomfortable? Eye contact is such an intimate gesture that it can be overwhelming – bring it up when you’re doing something else, like the washing up, so your focus is elsewhere. It can make it easier to get your initial words out.
… But don’t let TTC dominate every conversation
To keep your relationship healthy, you need to talk about other things, too.
‘Keep in mind that, while you want to make a baby, it’s him you specifically want to make a baby with, so show interest in each other,’ says Claire.
If you feel a conversation’s been about your ovulation dates for that little bit too long, take a moment to acknowledge that – out loud or just to yourself – then change the subject.